Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
