im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
