Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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