He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
