So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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