Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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