we're blogging at a bar
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
