Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Farmville is her only friend.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
