What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize