HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
