Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
