what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
