he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
