rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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