I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
