the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
