guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
