you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
