Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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