I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize