I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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