I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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