Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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