I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
