I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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