Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
