my phone needs a breathalizer
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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