Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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