it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
