I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
