would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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