I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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