i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
