I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
