Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
