my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
