i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize