OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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