I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
