I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
