Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
