There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize