last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize