you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
