I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Girls should come with a carfax report
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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