Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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