i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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