I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
