am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
