How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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