So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
