Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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