Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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