Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
