I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
