And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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