Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Text me some of your sweat
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