2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
