Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
