Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
