It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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