I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She is in my trunk
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
