maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
sick fucks of a feather flock together
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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