Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
