I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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