Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
this is an emotional support booty call
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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