You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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