I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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